Ask Bella Deveraux: Friends with Benefits

Dear Bella,
I have done well for myself...I'm a successful business woman who paid my way through college and graduate school. I am able to pay my bills and treat myself to a few luxuries in life. I have recently been evolved with a man for about 8 months and we have established that our relationship is friends with benefits. We have an understanding that he pays my bills and takes care of me financially and I spend time with him when I'm available. Now, I don't see anything wrong with this and it has been nice to have a man take care of me. But my friends think that this is a situation gone bad because he dates other women. What do you think?

Dear Destiny Child,

Can you pay my bills was a big hit for Destiny Children...but while they we singing the song they were earning the money to pay for their bills. I'm not one to judge but I would have you really look at the situation and make sure your not selling yourself short. You mention that you were able to take care of your self..why wouldn't you continue to implement the values you stood on while you were in college? Make sure that you don't allow your morals or integrity to be compromised. Not to mention what you open yourself up to with this man with the possible risk of an STD because he is dating other women. You are responsible for your health physically and spiritually. So...I not saying you a Gold digger but...Look at the big picture.
Bella D.

Ask Bella Deveraux: "Bitten by gay crush "

Dear Bella Deveraux,

I have been in the dating world for a while and have a problem with finding a good man. I have been spending a lot of time with my best friend Steven. We have a lot of fun together and get along great it is like we are two peas in a pod. He has a lot of qualities I look for in a man except he is gay. Our relationship is getting a little weired because he doesn't know that I have develop these feelings for him...I don't know what to do and where these feeling came from. He recently asked me why have I been so scarce in our friendship because we usually hang out so much. Should I tell him and face the rejections or should I act as though there is nothing wrong even though I know I have feelings for him?

Bitten by gay crush


Dear Bitten,
You are not the first woman that has ever experience this problem in some kind of form. Sometimes the object of our affection doesn't have to be gay.... women still find ourselves falling for the wrong person who is just not that in to us as much as we are in to them. I'm pretty sure you have heard this expression before. Hopefully you have seen the movie...I myself can identify with this scenario all to well except the person that I had develop feelings for wasn't gay, he just didn't notice me. And that can be a sensitive situation when you like someone who doesn't like you back. Lets face it no one likes rejection. But I would ask you, when was the last time you where single and not thinking about being in a relationship. You mention that you have been in the dating world for a while and you couldn't find a good man. When was the last time you had time to reflect on what you want in life. There is so much out in the dating scene that your perception of what a good man is could be clouded by all the mess out there. If you take time to date yourself and reflect on you and what you truly want you may find that your perception may change. Good men do exist...you see this in your gay best friend. But when it comes to meeting the right one for you it has to be at the right time. Timing is imperative to finding true love. You have to catch a man when he is ready for what you want. It must fall in line. But your standards and qualities must be realistic...not some fantasy dream man. Maybe try removing yourself from the dating world for a while take some time off. Honey, everybody needs a vacation sometimes! As for your gay best friend he is just that... your gay best friend! He is not thinking about you that way put those feelings in check and just love your relationship for what it really is..good fun, great laughs, and fabulous shopping. It can be hard. Keep your head up love will find you when your not looking.

Bella Deveraux

Beauty Marks Introduces Bella Deveraux!!!

Beauty Marks is please to introduce to our readers our very own relationship, beauty, career, fashion, life coach expert... Bella Deveraux. She is a girls kind of girl! Described by many as a tell it like it is and keep it real type of chic, Belle D. is not afraid to give it to you real. So, you may be wondering to yourself...how does someone get this job? How does a chic just show up on the scene, make a appearance, and declares she is an expert on life and knows the meaning of it! She decided it for herself. "I noticed that people would always come and ask me for advice and what and how to handle certain situations.. I found out that part of my purpose was telling them what to do!" With her sound wisdom on life, mixed with love and a great pair of shoes, Bella Deveraux found her niche and loves to inspire women to reach within and find there inner voice and listen to what is true to their heart. "I've noticed that women often have the answers to their questions but sometimes need a push of courage to make the right decision. So please enjoy this new addition to Beauty Marks leave comments and let us know what you think. Email us with your questions at askbelladeveraux@yahoo.com and don't be afraid to "Ask Bella Deveraux!"