Monday, March 29, 2010

Ask Bella Deveraux: Friends with Benefits

Dear Bella,
I have done well for myself...I'm a successful business woman who paid my way through college and graduate school. I am able to pay my bills and treat myself to a few luxuries in life. I have recently been evolved with a man for about 8 months and we have established that our relationship is friends with benefits. We have an understanding that he pays my bills and takes care of me financially and I spend time with him when I'm available. Now, I don't see anything wrong with this and it has been nice to have a man take care of me. But my friends think that this is a situation gone bad because he dates other women. What do you think?

Dear Destiny Child,

Can you pay my bills was a big hit for Destiny Children...but while they we singing the song they were earning the money to pay for their bills. I'm not one to judge but I would have you really look at the situation and make sure your not selling yourself short. You mention that you were able to take care of your self..why wouldn't you continue to implement the values you stood on while you were in college? Make sure that you don't allow your morals or integrity to be compromised. Not to mention what you open yourself up to with this man with the possible risk of an STD because he is dating other women. You are responsible for your health physically and spiritually. So...I not saying you a Gold digger but...Look at the big picture.
Bella D.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Making and leaving her Mark in Hollywood: Gabourey Sidibe

So...I found this article and wanted to share it with beauty mark readers. It is on the break out star Gabourey Sidibe. I have seen her on several talk shows and I find her very interesting. She is a breathe of fresh air and is simply authentic in who she is and how she wants to be portrayed. Does size really play a part in your success or would you call it divine purpose! I love to see the face and perception change in Hollywood. Although there are some haters that always try to knock you down and doubters that don't believe, Gabourey Sidibe is living proof that color and size will not stop anyone from having what God has for you!

"Precious" star Gabourey Sidibe didn't nab a statuette at the Oscars, the night was clearly a win for her. She looked radiant on the red carpet, even flirting with Gerard Butler. The pressure to conform in Hollywood is legendary, but Sidibe is standing up to it with grace.

"I learned to love myself, because I sleep with myself every night and I wake up with myself every morning, and if I don't like myself, there's no reason to even live the life," she told New York magazine in September. "They [the press] try to paint the picture that I was this downtrodden, ugly girl who was unpopular in school and in life and then I got this role and now I'm awesome, but the truth is that I've been awesome, and then I got this role."

That hasn't stopped critics from attacking the actress for her size. An opportunistic weight loss supplement company recently wrote a letter to the 26-year-old performer claiming to be concerned about her health and offering her a year's supply of its product in exchange for an endorsement. "The only way you can reach your goal of someday winning that Oscar is by being active, fit, and most of all, healthy!" chirps the letter leaked to TMZ.

Shock jock Howard Stern has also called the actress out, referring to her as "the size of a planet" and saying Hollywood and Oprah (a Sidibe champion) were liars for suggesting the star would continue to have a career in show business. Guess he doesn't realize she was just cast in Showtime series "The Big C."

Sidibe, for her part, hasn't dignified the recent criticism with a response. But Jessica Simpson, host of the new VH1 reality series "The Price of Beauty" came out in defense of Sidibe. "She walked the red carpet at the Oscars and she owned it. She had such confidence and I absolutely 100 percent think she could get anything in the world that she wants."

Which is not to say Sidibe doesn't leave the door open for changing her image one day. "I love the way I look. I'm fine with it. And if my body changes, I'll be fine with that." Sounds remarkably healthy to us. Written by Alison Rosen

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Ask Belle Deveraux: Growing Lonely

I have not been in a serious relationship in a while. I feel like I have hit a dry spell because I don't know what to do and where to go to meet men. My best friend is always asking me to go out with her and her boyfriend but I often feel like a third wheel. I noticed that it hurts my heart to see couples together because I so want this for myself... should I go out or stay in and how do I handle these feeling of loneliness and bitterness?

Dear Green with Envy,

There are a lot of benefits that we single women have that are liberating and powerful if we choose to see the glass as half full. I'm pretty sure you can ask any married woman who has been married for a while... she will tell you that the grass is not always greener on the other side. But I have a question for you to consider while you are single...what is your bigger picture? You said it has been sometime since your last relationship. What have you learn about yourself in the between stages? You must remember that you are in a relationship with yourself first. If you can take care of yourself emotionally, phyically, and spiritually than you are able to impart that wisdom and knowledge into someone else. By divine design, God put in us an incredible gift of nuturing. It is a gift that we carry deep inside us as women to speak life and produce life. Ok...I know your single and you are not the only woman in the world who wants a relationship with a wonderful man, but what else can you focus on? What do you have in your hands that you can work with? Pour yourself into your purpose, your mission in life, helping your community, your family. Unlock the gift that you have to nuture life and pour that power into people that are around you. This may help you with these feeling of envy your having with your best friend. Don't allow your temporary circustance to dictate your happiness for yourself or for the people you love. Celebrate and praise are two important keys to get God's attention and maybe He will unlock your door to finding love. Go out with your best friend... you never know who you may meet...don't close yourself off to love. Be happy for the love you see blooming around you because God is no respecter of persons...what He does for someone else He can make happen for you!
Bella D.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Pass the Pearl: Speak life with your tongue

The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. Proverbs 18:21

What are you saying? Tell the truth because God hears your conversations out loud and even in your spirit. Are you creating with your mouth the environment you want to see? Words are life giving and building. Words spoken out of our mouth can uplift or break down. It is imperative that we speak positive to the people we love and to the people God places in our lives. Are your children not acting right? What about your husband, is he getting on your last nerve? Speak to the King inside your husband and the leader or princess inside your children. I promise they will rise and appear. Kind words are like honey to the soul. Find someone who's light and life appears to be defeated and speak to their potential. Believe it by Faith...all you need is a mustard seed to make any situation move.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Wisdom for Wednesday: Diary of a Tired Black Woman

With so many demands on our lives as women, it’s like we’re starring in a 5 act play called “The Diary of a Tired Black Woman.” But I ask the question, How does she do it all? Where does this sense of drive and passion come? As women we play so many roles and change our hats and hair weaves all at the same time! Whether we are playing leading lady to our significant other or supporting actress to our children, family, or friends we play the role of a lifetime. But any actress will tell you that she has to prepare and study the life of her character that in order to connect and tell a story. As we play the many roles in our lives we must Reconnect with a bigger source of power that is greater than us. Such power will give us inspiration, inner peace, and drive to love ourselves and our family. Remember, you have to take care of yourselves first…only then can you truly give and pour into others. If we want to have influence with the world we must have a sense of guidance from on high. We embrace this when we take time and Reconnect with God and receive His power of inner strength, peace, and wisdom. It is with Him that our lives can be full and spill over to everyone we meet. We become an open vessel chosen to be used for His purpose. Start your day with him while your drinking coffee, driving to work, or cooking breakfast. Take time and open your spirit so that God can refresh you and guide you to your best acadamy award winning role of a lifetime.

T=trust I=inspired R=reconnect E=empower D=devotion

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Ask Bella Deveraux: "Bitten by gay crush "

Dear Bella Deveraux,

I have been in the dating world for a while and have a problem with finding a good man. I have been spending a lot of time with my best friend Steven. We have a lot of fun together and get along great it is like we are two peas in a pod. He has a lot of qualities I look for in a man except he is gay. Our relationship is getting a little weired because he doesn't know that I have develop these feelings for him...I don't know what to do and where these feeling came from. He recently asked me why have I been so scarce in our friendship because we usually hang out so much. Should I tell him and face the rejections or should I act as though there is nothing wrong even though I know I have feelings for him?

Bitten by gay crush

Dear Bitten,
You are not the first woman that has ever experience this problem in some kind of form. Sometimes the object of our affection doesn't have to be gay.... women still find ourselves falling for the wrong person who is just not that in to us as much as we are in to them. I'm pretty sure you have heard this expression before. Hopefully you have seen the movie...I myself can identify with this scenario all to well except the person that I had develop feelings for wasn't gay, he just didn't notice me. And that can be a sensitive situation when you like someone who doesn't like you back. Lets face it no one likes rejection. But I would ask you, when was the last time you where single and not thinking about being in a relationship. You mention that you have been in the dating world for a while and you couldn't find a good man. When was the last time you had time to reflect on what you want in life. There is so much out in the dating scene that your perception of what a good man is could be clouded by all the mess out there. If you take time to date yourself and reflect on you and what you truly want you may find that your perception may change. Good men do see this in your gay best friend. But when it comes to meeting the right one for you it has to be at the right time. Timing is imperative to finding true love. You have to catch a man when he is ready for what you want. It must fall in line. But your standards and qualities must be realistic...not some fantasy dream man. Maybe try removing yourself from the dating world for a while take some time off. Honey, everybody needs a vacation sometimes! As for your gay best friend he is just that... your gay best friend! He is not thinking about you that way put those feelings in check and just love your relationship for what it really is..good fun, great laughs, and fabulous shopping. It can be hard. Keep your head up love will find you when your not looking.

Bella Deveraux

Beauty Marks Introduces Bella Deveraux!!!

Beauty Marks is please to introduce to our readers our very own relationship, beauty, career, fashion, life coach expert... Bella Deveraux. She is a girls kind of girl! Described by many as a tell it like it is and keep it real type of chic, Belle D. is not afraid to give it to you real. So, you may be wondering to does someone get this job? How does a chic just show up on the scene, make a appearance, and declares she is an expert on life and knows the meaning of it! She decided it for herself. "I noticed that people would always come and ask me for advice and what and how to handle certain situations.. I found out that part of my purpose was telling them what to do!" With her sound wisdom on life, mixed with love and a great pair of shoes, Bella Deveraux found her niche and loves to inspire women to reach within and find there inner voice and listen to what is true to their heart. "I've noticed that women often have the answers to their questions but sometimes need a push of courage to make the right decision. So please enjoy this new addition to Beauty Marks leave comments and let us know what you think. Email us with your questions at and don't be afraid to "Ask Bella Deveraux!"