Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Ask Belle Deveraux: Growing Lonely

I have not been in a serious relationship in a while. I feel like I have hit a dry spell because I don't know what to do and where to go to meet men. My best friend is always asking me to go out with her and her boyfriend but I often feel like a third wheel. I noticed that it hurts my heart to see couples together because I so want this for myself... should I go out or stay in and how do I handle these feeling of loneliness and bitterness?

Dear Green with Envy,

There are a lot of benefits that we single women have that are liberating and powerful if we choose to see the glass as half full. I'm pretty sure you can ask any married woman who has been married for a while... she will tell you that the grass is not always greener on the other side. But I have a question for you to consider while you are single...what is your bigger picture? You said it has been sometime since your last relationship. What have you learn about yourself in the between stages? You must remember that you are in a relationship with yourself first. If you can take care of yourself emotionally, phyically, and spiritually than you are able to impart that wisdom and knowledge into someone else. By divine design, God put in us an incredible gift of nuturing. It is a gift that we carry deep inside us as women to speak life and produce life. Ok...I know your single and you are not the only woman in the world who wants a relationship with a wonderful man, but what else can you focus on? What do you have in your hands that you can work with? Pour yourself into your purpose, your mission in life, helping your community, your family. Unlock the gift that you have to nuture life and pour that power into people that are around you. This may help you with these feeling of envy your having with your best friend. Don't allow your temporary circustance to dictate your happiness for yourself or for the people you love. Celebrate and praise are two important keys to get God's attention and maybe He will unlock your door to finding love. Go out with your best friend... you never know who you may meet...don't close yourself off to love. Be happy for the love you see blooming around you because God is no respecter of persons...what He does for someone else He can make happen for you!
Bella D.

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