Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Ask Bella Deveraux: "Bitten by gay crush "

Dear Bella Deveraux,

I have been in the dating world for a while and have a problem with finding a good man. I have been spending a lot of time with my best friend Steven. We have a lot of fun together and get along great it is like we are two peas in a pod. He has a lot of qualities I look for in a man except he is gay. Our relationship is getting a little weired because he doesn't know that I have develop these feelings for him...I don't know what to do and where these feeling came from. He recently asked me why have I been so scarce in our friendship because we usually hang out so much. Should I tell him and face the rejections or should I act as though there is nothing wrong even though I know I have feelings for him?

Bitten by gay crush

Dear Bitten,
You are not the first woman that has ever experience this problem in some kind of form. Sometimes the object of our affection doesn't have to be gay.... women still find ourselves falling for the wrong person who is just not that in to us as much as we are in to them. I'm pretty sure you have heard this expression before. Hopefully you have seen the movie...I myself can identify with this scenario all to well except the person that I had develop feelings for wasn't gay, he just didn't notice me. And that can be a sensitive situation when you like someone who doesn't like you back. Lets face it no one likes rejection. But I would ask you, when was the last time you where single and not thinking about being in a relationship. You mention that you have been in the dating world for a while and you couldn't find a good man. When was the last time you had time to reflect on what you want in life. There is so much out in the dating scene that your perception of what a good man is could be clouded by all the mess out there. If you take time to date yourself and reflect on you and what you truly want you may find that your perception may change. Good men do exist...you see this in your gay best friend. But when it comes to meeting the right one for you it has to be at the right time. Timing is imperative to finding true love. You have to catch a man when he is ready for what you want. It must fall in line. But your standards and qualities must be realistic...not some fantasy dream man. Maybe try removing yourself from the dating world for a while take some time off. Honey, everybody needs a vacation sometimes! As for your gay best friend he is just that... your gay best friend! He is not thinking about you that way put those feelings in check and just love your relationship for what it really is..good fun, great laughs, and fabulous shopping. It can be hard. Keep your head up love will find you when your not looking.

Bella Deveraux

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